Social media poses very real risks for young people, especially between the ages of 6 and 12. As a parent, we immediately think of cyberbullying , inappropriate content, and the impact on their self-esteem , which is still being developed. These platforms are designed to captivate us, but for a child, they can quickly become a source of addiction and undermine their emotional balance and development.
Understanding the risks to better protect your child
You can sense it: the digital world your child is living in has its gray areas. And you're not alone in your worries. In France, 80% of citizens believe that social networks are a dangerous place for children , mainly because of harassment and shocking content. This feeling is so widely shared that 75% of French people even support the idea of a digital majority to better supervise young children, as shown by this analysis of parental perceptions on bfmtv.com .
These platforms aren't just messaging services. They're real worlds where social interactions, much like in the playground, are multiplied. But with one difference: there isn't always an adult to supervise. For a child who's developing, the line between play and danger becomes very blurred.
The image above clearly illustrates the three main threats facing our children: bullying, addiction, and risks to their privacy. Each of these can directly affect their well-being and personal development. My goal here is to help you gain clarity by giving you some tips for taking action.
To better visualize these threats, here is a table that summarizes the major dangers and their direct consequences on your child's well-being.
Overview of the main risks for 6-12 year olds
| Type of Danger | Risk Description | Impact on the Child |
|---|---|---|
| Addiction | Compulsive use due to notifications and "likes" that activate the reward circuit in the brain. | Loss of sleep, anxiety, difficulty concentrating at school, social isolation, less time for creative play. |
| Cyberbullying | Repeated harassment (insults, threats, rumors) via digital platforms, often anonymously. | Low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, dropping out of school, fear of going to school. |
| Privacy | Sharing personal information (photos, location) without awareness of the long-term consequences. | Identity theft, exposure to predators, lasting damage to online reputation. |
| Inappropriate Content | Exposure to violence, pornography, hate speech or dangerous challenges. | Trauma, trivialization of violence, adoption of risky behaviors, anxiety and nightmares. |
This table highlights the extent to which each risk is linked to concrete and sometimes serious consequences on your child's development.
Challenges specific to 6-12 year olds
At this age, a child simply does not have the perspective needed to navigate alone and safely. The dangers manifest themselves concretely in several ways:
- Impact on self-esteem: Staged lives and "perfect" bodies create constant comparison. Your child may end up doubting their own worth, constantly feeling inadequate.
- Exposure to inappropriate content: Without good filters, he can easily come across violent images, adult content, or discussions that will shock him and that he is not ready to understand.
- The mechanics of addiction: Every "like" or notification is a small burst of pleasure in your brain. This is called the reward circuit, and it creates an almost irrepressible urge to reconnect, to the detriment of gaming, reading, or family time.
Understanding these mechanisms is the first essential step in being able to talk about them with him, establish a climate of trust and set a clear and reassuring framework for the whole family.
Know how to recognize and manage cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is arguably one of the greatest dangers facing young people on social media. It's an often invisible threat, but the emotional wounds it causes are very real. Imagine for a moment that the teasing and exclusions from the playground follow your child into their bedroom, 24 hours a day, via their phone screen. Bullying no longer stops at the school gates.
This violence can take many forms: insults raining down in comments, rumors spread in a chat group, or the deliberate exclusion of a child from an online circle of friends. For a child aged 6 to 12, in the midst of building their identity and friendships, the emotional impact is devastating.
Unfortunately, this isn't a rare phenomenon. In France, one in five young people aged 6 to 18 has already been a victim of cyberbullying . This digital violence, which ranges from hurtful messages to the spread of rumors, increases the risk of anxiety and psychological distress. To better understand this scourge and discover the help available, such as the national number 3018, you can consult details on the situation of young people in front of screens on meditup.fr .
What are the signs that should alert you?
It's often difficult for a child to speak out, whether out of shame or fear of reprisal. However, certain changes in their behavior can raise red flags. Pay attention if you notice your child:
- Changes mood suddenly after being on his phone or tablet.
- Tends to isolate himself , avoiding family time or going out with friends.
- Appears sad or anxious for no obvious reason, or has lost confidence.
- Experiences an unexplained drop in school performance or no longer wants to go to school.
- Suffers from sleep disturbances , recurring headaches or stomach aches.
These signs are not formal proof, but they indicate a feeling of unease that deserves your full attention.
Advice for parents: The key is not to investigate to find evidence. It's primarily to observe and create a safe environment so that your child dares to confide, whether they are a victim, a witness, or even the perpetrator without realizing it. Your role is to listen and support them.
How to open dialogue with kindness?
Addressing the topic of cyberbullying requires a great deal of tact. The idea isn't to subject your child to an interrogation, but to invite them to share their feelings.
Take advantage of a quiet moment, like a walk or while preparing dinner, to start the conversation with open-ended questions. For example: "I read an article about some not-so-nice things that sometimes happen online. Does this come up in your friends' conversations?"
Reassure them that whatever happens, they are not alone and that you are there to help them , without judging them or punishing them by confiscating their phone. Building this trust will help them become more resilient and know who to turn to if they have a problem.
Protecting Self-Esteem from Perfect Screen Lives
Social media is a bit like a hall of mirrors. We see reflections, but rarely reality. For a child between the ages of 6 and 12, who is still developing their personality, this distorted image is a real trap. Every flawless photo and dream life that flashes across their screen can sow seeds of doubt in their mind.
This constant stream of unrealistic standards triggers a well-known human reflex: social comparison . Your child begins to measure himself against others. Except he doesn't do it in the playground, where interactions are authentic, but through a filter that only shows the best moments. He may quickly feel less beautiful, less popular, less talented than others.
The spiral of comparison
The problem is that this content is specifically designed to capture attention. Algorithms show it what works best, what's most popular. It then finds itself trapped in a bubble of success, paradise vacations, and perfect bodies. This silent pressure can become a real source of anxiety.
The figures confirm it: this exposure is not without consequences. Nearly half of young adults ( 46% of 18-24 year-olds ) admit that social networks have a negative impact on their well-being, causing anxiety or a drop in self-esteem. Psychologist Michaël Stora speaks of a "distorting mirror" that confronts young people with impossible models of success. You can learn more about this topic by consulting the analysis on young people's mental health on handicap.fr .
Tip for parents: The idea isn't to ban everything, but to give your child the tools to develop critical thinking skills. Help them understand that what they see online is a carefully curated showcase, not real life. A good question to ask is: "How many photos do you think the person took before choosing this one?"
3 family rituals to boost your confidence
Fortunately, you have a key role to play in helping him build a strong emotional armor. Here are some concrete ideas for celebrating who he really is, away from screens.
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The pride jar: Take a simple, empty jar. Every evening, ask your child to write on a small piece of paper something that made them proud during the day. It could be a good grade, a nice gesture for a friend, or a particularly successful drawing. Rereading these little notes from time to time helps them become aware of their own qualities.
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"No-filter" activities: Plan times where the only goal is to have fun, without worrying about the image you project. A walk in the forest, a cooking session where you're allowed to get flour everywhere, or an afternoon of board games are perfect for reconnecting with simple, authentic pleasures.
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Celebrate what makes them unique: Is your child a drawing pro, a LEGO champion, or has a vivid imagination for inventing stories? Shine a spotlight on their talents. Encourage them to cultivate what makes them special, reminding them that their value isn't measured by the number of likes .
Understanding the mechanics of screen addiction
You've probably noticed: your child struggles to put down their phone, even to sit down at the table. It's not just a whim or a lack of willpower. Behind the screen, carefully designed mechanisms are at work to keep them captive.
Think of social media as a perfectly calibrated virtual slot machine. Every like , every notification, every new message acts as a small, immediate reward. For a developing brain like a child's, this is particularly powerful.
This system activates what scientists call the reward circuit . It's a natural engine in our brains that drives us to repeat actions that give us pleasure. For a child, peer recognition is a fundamental need. Online, this validation is constant and easily accessible, creating an almost constant desire to return.
When "too much" sets in
The catch is that this reward machine never stops. Unlike a book or a board game, which has a beginning and an end, TikTok or Instagram feeds are endless. This constant stimulation is not without consequences for your child's development:
- Sleep disturbances: The famous blue light from screens blocks the production of melatonin, the hormone that helps us fall asleep.
- Difficulty concentrating: The brain becomes accustomed to instant gratification. Focusing on longer tasks, such as homework, then becomes a real challenge.
- Creativity in decline: Time spent passively scrolling through content takes away from time spent playing, drawing, daydreaming... activities that are vital for developing one's imagination and problem-solving skills.
It's important to remember that these apps are designed by armies of engineers and psychologists to capture our attention. It's therefore perfectly understandable that our children, with their brains still maturing, are so vulnerable to them. This is one of the main dangers of social media for young people.
Did you know? The French Education Code recently introduced mandatory training for students on the risks associated with digital addiction. This shows how seriously the issue is taken at the highest levels.
Create family rituals to regain control
Rather than engaging in a head-on battle, which is often exhausting and counterproductive, the idea is to build a family framework that promotes a healthy balance. Here are some simple ideas to implement.
Establish "screen-free zones" in your home. The most obvious is the dinner table. This allows meals to become a time for true connection, away from notifications. The bedroom is also an excellent choice for protecting your child's quality of sleep.
Implement a "digital curfew." For example, one hour before bed, all screens turn off. For everyone! This is a great time to read, play a board game, or simply chat about your day. This allows your brain to shut down and prepares you for a good night's rest.
By adopting these simple habits, you're not only setting an example, but you're also helping your child build a healthier, more mindful relationship with technology.
Establish clear rules to protect your privacy
For a child, the concept of online privacy often seems like gibberish. Sharing a class photo, the name of their school, or the location of their next vacation seems completely trivial. Yet, this is valuable information that should never fall into the wrong hands.
To help him understand, use a simple image: posting personal information on social media is like leaving your bedroom door wide open and inviting anyone to look in. This analogy will help him understand why some things absolutely must remain secret.
This conversation is crucial. The dangers of social media among young people often stem from over-sharing information. The law itself is increasingly addressing the issue, even requiring schools to train students on how to protect their privacy.
Defining the digital circle of trust
Explain to your child that on the internet, just as in real life, you don't share your secrets with just anyone. Help them define their online "circle of trust," that is, the list of people with whom they can truly share things without risk.
One of the pillars of digital education is understanding the difference between what is public and what is private. Children must understand that each post builds their online identity and leaves traces that can last for a very long time.
Ideally, this circle should be limited to very close family and a few trusted friends, whose parents you know if possible. This is an excellent way to maintain control over who sees your posts and interacts with you.
The Privacy Settings Checklist
Take a moment to sit down with your child and explore the settings of their favorite app together. It's a small, but very important ritual to help them learn the right habits from the start.
Here is a simple checklist to go through with him:
- Profile Visibility: The ABCs. Make sure your account is set to " private ." This way, only people you've accepted as friends will see what you post.
- Geolocation: Always remember to disable the feature that indicates where a photo or video was taken. This is sensitive information.
- Photo Tagging: Enable the option that asks you to manually approve each time a friend tags your child in a photo. You're in control.
- Who can contact him: Limit private messages to "friends only." This will prevent him from being contacted by strangers.
Spending time together is also a great opportunity to strengthen your bond. You're showing him that you're there to guide him, without judgment and with kindness.
Your action plan for a more peaceful digital family life
Navigating the dangers of social media for young people can sometimes seem like an impossible mission. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. However, as a parent, you have a crucial role to play—not to ban everything, but to turn this challenge into an opportunity to connect with your child and guide them toward greater independence and confidence.
The key isn't control at all costs, but a balanced approach based on three simple pillars: dialogue, clear rules, and, above all, the example you set. The idea isn't to impose rigid rules without discussion, but rather to build together a digital framework where everyone feels safe and respected.
Pillar 1: Speak to understand, not to judge
The foundation of everything is trust. And trust thrives on communication. When you approach the subject of social media, avoid an interrogative tone. Be curious, not inquisitive. Your goal is to understand their world, not to criticize it.
To start the conversation, try simple and open approaches:
- “Hey, I saw this challenge on TikTok, do you know it? What do you think?”
- "What's your favorite app right now? Show me how it works, I'm interested."
- "You know, sometimes on the internet, you come across things that are a bit weird or uncomfortable. If that happens to you, know that you can come and talk to me about it anytime, without fear of me telling you off or confiscating your phone."
Pillar 2: Establish a framework to protect and empower
Clear rules aren't a punishment. They're a safety belt. When they're defined together, they help your child better manage their time and avoid sacrificing essential moments: sleep, homework, family discussions, or simply being a little bored, which is crucial for creativity.
A reassuring environment is the best protection against digital abuse. By setting clear boundaries with your child, you teach them to self-regulate and make more conscious choices for their well-being.
Why not create a family digital charter together? It's a great way to get things down on paper. Here are some ideas to discuss:
- Daily screen time: For example, one hour on weekdays, and set an alarm to signal the end. It's simple and effective.
- Screen-free zones: No phones in bedrooms at night, to ensure true restful sleep. And at the table, put them down to really talk to each other.
- A digital “curfew”: One hour before bedtime, all screens in the house turn off. Yes, even yours!
Pillar 3: Lead by example to truly inspire
Our children are watching us. They learn much more from our actions than from our long speeches. If you get off your phone during dinner, chances are they'll do the same without you even asking. Be the role model you'd like them to follow.
It also means being honest about your own struggles. Admitting that you, too, sometimes struggle to disconnect can open up a sincere discussion about each other's habits and defuse the situation. By embodying these values, you'll convey them in the most authentic and effective way possible.
Your frequently asked questions about online safety
As a parent, we often feel a little lost, even overwhelmed, when faced with the world of social media. This is completely normal. To help you see things more clearly, here are some straightforward answers and practical advice to the questions you ask yourself most often.
How do I know if my child is really ready for social media?
There's no magic age; it's really a matter of maturity. Before you say yes, ask yourself if your child already has some basics. For example, do they clearly differentiate between real friends and simple online contacts? Do they realize that everything they share can be seen by anyone and remain online forever?
Another good indicator is their ability to confide in you. If they naturally come to you when something is bothering them in their daily life, that's a great sign. This means they'll likely be more comfortable asking you for help if they encounter a problem online.
Should social media be banned completely?
Banning them outright is often tempting, but it can backfire. A frustrated child might be tempted to create an account in secret, without you being able to guide or protect them. The best approach is to guide them step by step.
Think of it like teaching your child to ride a bike. You don't immediately put them on the road in busy traffic. First, you hold the saddle, add training wheels, and then let them try it on their own while keeping a close eye on it. The goal is the same: to teach them the right reflexes so they can become cautious and independent.
What if he never wants to let go of his phone?
This attitude often hides a well-known anxiety: the fear of missing out, the famous "FOMO" (Fear Of Missing Out). Rather than starting an all-out war that will lead nowhere, try to create nice alternatives and establish simple family rules.
- The "Phone Box": During dinner or an hour before bed, everyone (yes, you too!) puts their phone in a box. It's a simple rule that sets an example.
- Offer screen-free activities: Pull out a board game that's been gathering dust, start a drawing contest, or cook dinner together. These shared moments remind him that real life is much more interesting than a news feed.
By establishing these rituals, you help everyone find a healthier balance and put the need to be constantly connected into perspective. It's a great way to prevent the dangers of social media among young people .
To help your child express themselves and build their self-confidence away from screens, the My Book Story notebook is a great tool. Through its creative activities and daily rituals, they learn to better understand themselves and appreciate their own strengths. Discover how this caring companion can support their personal growth .