Watching your child, between the ages of 6 and 12, take their first steps online is both an exciting and worrying milestone. We hear a lot about the dangers of the internet for young people , such as cyberbullying or shocking images, and it's completely normal to feel a little overwhelmed as a parent.
Taming the digital world together
Far be it from us to paint a completely bleak picture. Our goal is simple: to give you the keys to guiding your child through this world with confidence. Because yes, the internet is full of pitfalls, but it's also an incredible opportunity to strengthen your relationships, sharpen their critical thinking, and unleash their creativity.
Imagine the internet as a huge, fascinating city. There are incredible museums, brilliant amusement parks, and libraries filled with treasures. But like any big city, there are also less safe neighborhoods. Our role as parents is to be the confident guide who teaches them how to read the map, choose the right places to go, and, most importantly, know what to do if they feel lost or uncomfortable.
The numbers remind us to remain vigilant. A recent study revealed that 56% of young people have already encountered a dangerous situation online in a single year. The good news is that many of them are starting to develop the right reflexes to protect themselves. The real challenge is getting them to speak out. Too often, they remain silent, fearing that their internet access will be taken away or because they believe it's pointless. To learn more, you can read the results of this study on youth online safety .
The idea isn't to build a fortress around your child, but rather to provide them with a compass and teach them how to navigate. The goal is for them to become digital explorers, both curious and cautious, confident in their ability to come to you when needed.
This guide is here to guide you step by step. You'll find practical advice and concrete examples to help you turn your concerns into open and constructive discussions. Together, let's create a healthy digital environment where your child can thrive safely.
Identify and respond to cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is arguably one of the biggest dangers the internet poses to young people . Forget playground squabbles. At least those stopped at the school gate. Online bullying, on the other hand, is far more insidious. It creeps into the home, creeping in via messaging, video games, and social media, and directly attacks your child's emotional well-being and self-confidence.
This invisible threat follows him absolutely everywhere. His refuge, his room, then becomes a place of constant anxiety. This is why it is essential, as a parent, to learn to detect warning signs, even the faintest ones, in order to be able to react lovingly and effectively.
Recognize the signs that don't lie
Have you noticed your child's behavior changing? A child between the ages of 6 and 12 often has trouble putting their feelings into words and expresses them in indirect ways. So, pay close attention to these changes, especially if they appear right after spending time in front of a screen.
Here are some clues that should alert you:
- Sudden isolation: He no longer wants to see his friends, whether online or in real life.
- Mood swings: He becomes irritable, anxious, or particularly sad after using his phone or tablet.
- A lack of interest in his passions: Activities he used to love, such as sports or drawing, no longer seem to interest him.
- Sleep or appetite disorders: He sleeps poorly, has nightmares or his relationship with food changes suddenly.
The goal isn't to overanalyze every little sign. The important thing is to spot a change in behavior that's lasting. These clues are like a gateway: they invite you to open a dialogue, gently and without judgment, to understand what's really going on in their world.
This image clearly illustrates the anxiety and isolation that a young person can feel when faced with online harassment.
It reminds us of the importance of seeing this distress, often silent, and of acting to put an end to it.
The following table is designed to help you understand this more clearly. It links the observable signs, their possible meanings, and the actions you can take.
Warning Signs of Cyberbullying and Parental Actions
| Observable sign in children | What this can mean | Suggested Parental Action |
|---|---|---|
| He hides his screen or quickly closes his windows when you approach. | He is ashamed or afraid of what he sees or receives. He fears your reaction (punishment, confiscation). | Parent tip: Approach him calmly and say, "I feel like something is bothering you. Know that whatever it is, we'll find a solution together, without punishing you." |
| He has strong emotional reactions (anger, tears) after being online. | He is probably the target of hurtful messages, mockery or exclusion. | Parent tip: Validate their emotions: "I understand that this makes you sad/angry. What you're feeling is normal." Listen first, then look for solutions. |
| He deletes his social media accounts or suddenly stops playing online. | He is trying to escape a painful situation. It is a defense mechanism to escape from bullies. | Parent tip: Say, "I see you've stopped playing. It's brave of you to want to protect yourself." Offer help with documenting (screenshots) and blocking people. |
| He complains of headaches or stomach aches, especially before going to school. | Anxiety related to bullying (which often continues into school) manifests itself physically. | Parent tip: Take their symptoms seriously. This might be a good time to probe gently: "I've noticed you've been having frequent stomach pains. Is there anything you're worried about right now?" |
Keep in mind that these are just suggestions. Every child is different, but open and reassuring communication is always the best approach.
Create a space for dialogue to free speech
Bringing up the subject of cyberbullying is a delicate step. Your child may feel ashamed, afraid of retaliation from the bullies, or simply fear that your first reaction will be to confiscate their phone.
In France, the figures are alarming: a recent study shows that 23% of children have already been victims of cyberbullying . The most disturbing thing is that while 77% of perpetrators know they are causing harm, more than half of them continue. These data, detailed in an article on key cyberbullying figures by Jedha.co , prove how family support is a fundamental pillar of prevention.
To start the discussion, choose a quiet moment when you're both relaxed and available. You can start the conversation from an external situation: "Hey, I saw a series where a character received nasty messages on his phone. Have you or your friends ever seen that?"
Reassure him immediately that whatever happens, you are there to help him, not to punish him. The goal is to turn this ordeal into an opportunity to strengthen his self-confidence, and more importantly, his trust in you.
Protecting your child's privacy and image
In the age of instant sharing, the concept of privacy can seem very vague for a child between the ages of 6 and 12. For them, posting a photo of their school trip or their decorated room is as natural as telling you about their day. The real risk is not only what we, parents, share (the famous "sharenting"), but especially what children themselves publish, without always fully understanding the consequences.
Our role isn't to ban everything, but to give them the keys to become the guardians of their own digital secret garden. The idea is to guide them in protecting their own image, an essential learning experience for their development and self-esteem.
Explaining what intimacy is in simple words
For a child, the concept of a photo "traveling" on the internet is quite abstract. So, you need to find meaningful images to help them understand.
Parent tip: Try this analogy. "Imagine throwing a handful of glitter into the wind. Once it's gone, it's impossible to catch it all. Some will fall right next to you, but others will fly far, far away, to places you don't even know. A photo shared online is a bit like that."
This simple analogy makes a complex concept much more concrete. It helps him visualize how difficult it is to control what is posted online.
Here are some ideas to get the discussion started:
- Use concrete examples: "Look at this group photo. Do you think all your friends would be okay if we showed it to strangers?"
- Give him the power to decide: "It's your photo, your drawing. You have the right to choose who can see it. You are the boss of your personal treasures."
- Set clear rules together: "Are we okay? We never share our last name, address, or school name. It's our family secret."
Consent: A Basis for Self-Esteem
Teaching your child about privacy also means talking about consent and, at the same time, building their self-confidence. They need to know that they have every right to say "no" if someone wants to take their picture, and that they should always ask permission before taking pictures of their friends.
This skill is crucial. It teaches him respect for others and helps him earn respect for himself, whether online or in real life. The issue is taken very seriously by the authorities. The National Consultative Commission on Human Rights (CNCDH) reminds us that the State has a duty to guarantee the protection of the privacy of minors so that their dignity is respected, as detailed in their opinion on the protection of the privacy of young people .
Ultimately, by teaching him to protect his image, you're doing much more than protecting him from the dangers of the internet for young people . You're giving him valuable tools to build his autonomy and self-confidence, assets that will serve him throughout his life.
Supporting your child when dealing with shocking content
The internet is a bit like a giant library open 24/7, but without a librarian to guide younger children. While searching for a simple cartoon, your child may stumble across images, videos, or violent comments that shock them. This is one of the greatest dangers the internet poses to young people : this sudden confrontation with an unfiltered adult world.
Our first instinct as parents is often to want to ban everything. This is understandable, but this approach can be counterproductive. A curious child will almost always find a way around the rules. Above all, they will no longer dare to come to you if they have a problem, for fear of being punished.
From monitoring to support
Of course, parental control tools are useful. Think of them like training wheels on a bicycle: they help you get started safely, but they don't teach you how to balance. Use them to screen out the most offensive content, but never consider them a quick fix.
The real challenge is to transition from the role of police officer to that of co-pilot. The goal is to build a relationship of trust so strong that your child's first instinct, if they see something that bothers them, will be to come and talk to you about it.
Your role isn't to be a constant watchdog, but rather a benevolent guide. The idea is to help your child develop their own critical thinking skills so they can learn to navigate with discernment, like an explorer who knows how to recognize safe paths.
Make dialogue a reflex
Establishing this reflex doesn't happen overnight. It requires open and regular communication. Don't wait for an incident to occur to discuss it, but take the initiative by establishing small exchange rituals.
Here are some concrete ways to encourage your child to confide:
- Validate his emotions, without judging him: If he admits to seeing a shocking image, start by saying, "I understand that it scared you or made you angry. It's completely normal to feel that way. You did the right thing by telling me about it."
- Create "debrief moments": After some screen time, take five minutes to casually ask, "So, did you see anything interesting today? Anything weird or funny?"
- Teach him the "stop button": Show him that he has the power to close a page or turn off the screen as soon as something bothers him. Tell him clearly: "If an image makes you uncomfortable, you are the boss. You have the right to stop right away and come to me. You are never punished for that."
By adopting this stance, you're doing more than protecting him from specific content: you're giving him tools for life. You're strengthening his autonomy, his confidence in his own judgment, and, above all, the precious bond that unites you.
Secure online gaming and social interactions
For our children, games like Roblox or Minecraft aren't just hobbies. They're virtual playgrounds, worlds where they meet up with friends, invent new worlds, and build projects together. These interactions are an important part of their social lives and creative development.
But just like in a real playground, these open spaces expose them to certain risks. Contact with strangers is commonplace, and while most exchanges are harmless, some may hide malicious intentions. This is one of the most well-known dangers of the internet for young people : grooming , a manipulation technique in which an adult attempts to gain a child's trust for malicious purposes.
Creating a safe playground, hand in hand
Far be it from us to ban them from these platforms. Rather, the goal is to make them safe spaces where they can have fun with peace of mind. The best way to achieve this? Make gaming a family activity. Take an interest in their creations, and offer to play a game with them. By getting involved, you'll better understand their world and be able to start a discussion more easily.
These moments spent together are the ideal opportunity to explain to them some basic rules of prudence, without falling into alarmism:
- A nickname is like a superhero mask: Explain that a good nickname should never reveal your true identity. No real name, no age, no city. Make it up together; it'll be more fun!
- Personal information is a treasure to be protected: Never give out your last name, address, or school name. Even to someone who appears to be a friend in the game.
- Camera remains off: Video calling people you met online is a red line that should never be crossed.
Think of these rules as the rules of the road for online gaming. They're not there to spoil the fun, but to ensure an accident-free journey.
The checklist for well-protected accounts
Dialogue is key. But a few technical adjustments are also essential. Here's a short list of points to check with your child to ensure the security of their accounts:
- Choose a unique and strong password: Come up with a fun and complex passphrase together that no one else will be able to guess.
- Enable in-game parental controls: Most major platforms like Roblox or Fortnite offer options to limit interactions (chat, friend requests) to only those contacts you have approved.
- Disable in-app purchases: To avoid surprise bills, you can link the account to a card with no money on it or, even better, protect all purchases with a password that only you know.
By putting in place these few barriers and sharing these moments of play, you give him the keys to protect himself, without ever taking away what matters most: the pleasure of playing and growing.
Establish healthy digital habits as a family
The best shield against the dangers of the internet for young people is not software, but open dialogue and clear family rituals. Rather than imposing strict prohibitions, which often lead to conflict, the idea is to change roles: move from the policeman who monitors to the guide who accompanies.
By adopting this stance, online safety becomes a team project. This collaborative approach does more than build trust between you and your child; it also fosters their autonomy and sense of responsibility. The goal is no longer for them to obey out of fear of punishment, but for them to understand the importance of rules for their own well-being.
Create your own digital family charter
To make this all more concrete and even a little fun, why not create your "family digital charter" together? Present it as a creative project, a bit like a game. Get out a large sheet of paper, some colored markers, and sit down together to define the rules that will apply to everyone. Yes, even the parents!
Here are some ideas for topics to cover during your workshop:
- Ideal screen time: Discuss together what seems right for you as screen time for each day, differentiating between weekdays and weekends.
- Phone-free zones: Establish sanctuaries where screens are prohibited. For example, the table during meals or bedrooms at night. These are valuable times to chat or simply rest.
- The emergency "password": Agree on a special word or phrase. Your child can use it if they come across something uncomfortable online, as a signal to ask you for help, without fear of being judged.
Think of this charter as a guide, not a contract set in stone. It's a living thing and should evolve as your child grows and matures. What really matters is that the rules make sense to everyone because they were decided together.
Empowering to better protect
Once your charter is posted on the fridge, the goal is to help your child make it their own. How? By regularly discussing what they're experiencing online, not to police them, but to share. Show genuine interest in their games, favorite videos, and discoveries.
There are some simple tips to help your child become more independent. An egg timer or kitchen timer, for example, can help them visualize and manage their screen time. It's much less restrictive than an alarm going off on your phone. If a rule is broken, always prioritize discussion over punishment. Try asking, "Why do you think this rule is important? How could we make it easier to follow it next time?"
This support is truly the key to everything. By making online safety a team project, you're giving them the best tools to become responsible and informed internet users, able to navigate this complex world with confidence.
Do you have questions about online security? We've got answers.
Guiding your child through the digital world can sometimes seem like a real headache. It's completely normal to feel a little lost. To help you see things more clearly and approach it with greater peace of mind, here are some simple answers to the questions many parents ask.
At what age can I let him go online alone?
This is THE big question, and the truth is that there is no magic age. It all depends on your child's maturity and, above all, on how you support them. Before the age of 9 or 10 , the best thing is to sail with them. Take advantage of this to make it a time of sharing, an activity to do together.
After this age, you can start giving them a little more autonomy, but gradually. Establish clear rules together: a list of authorized sites, a well-defined screen time, etc.
The idea is to teach him good reflexes before he explores on his own. It's a bit like teaching him to look both ways before crossing the street.
How can I talk to him about the dangers without scaring him?
The secret is to take a positive approach. Focus on solutions, not fear. I like to compare the internet to a huge city: there are fascinating places to discover, but also less safe neighborhoods where you shouldn't hang around. Your role is to give it a map of the city.
Parent tip: Use open-ended questions to get them thinking for themselves. For example: "If a stranger asks for a picture of you in a game, what do you think would be a good idea? Why?" The goal is to make them responsible and cautious, not to terrorize them.
Are parental control software really useful?
Yes, they are very valuable tools, especially when children are young. They act as safety barriers, filtering out offensive content and helping you limit screen time.
But be careful, software will never replace a good conversation. Think of it like a seat belt in a car: it's essential in case of an accident, but it's learning to drive with you that guarantees long-term safety.
To give your child a space of their own, away from screens, where they can explore their emotions and unleash their creativity, consider the My Book Story notebook. It's a true companion that helps them, through simple activities, build self-confidence and better understand themselves. Discover how to transform a few minutes a day into a powerful well-being ritual.