The internet is a wonderful gateway to the world for our children. But it also presents very real risks, such as exposure to shocking content, cyberbullying, and screen time management that can quickly become complicated. For a child aged 6 to 12, these dangers can undermine their emotional balance and self-confidence. That's why online safety must be taken as seriously as everyday safety rules. This guide is designed to help you, as parents, guide your child with confidence in this digital world.
Understanding Your Child's Digital World
Diving into your child's digital world can seem a little intimidating, if not downright scary. Every day, our children surf the internet to learn, have fun, and chat. It's an incredible space, full of possibilities, but it's crucial to be aware of its pitfalls so you can guide them with confidence and kindness.
Think of online safety a bit like road safety. You wouldn't let a child cross the street alone without teaching them to look both ways. It's exactly the same with the internet: before letting them explore this world, you have to teach them the right reflexes and, above all, show them that you're there to guide them.
The first steps to confident exploration
The first thing to do is to transform fear into preparation. The idea isn't to prohibit, but to support. The goal is simple: create an open dialogue from the start. Your child should feel completely comfortable coming to you if they come across something strange or uncomfortable.
One of the most common risks is stumbling upon inappropriate content. Algorithms can quickly turn an innocent search into a false positive. For example:
- A simple search for a wild animal can lead to violent videos of animal fights.
- A cartoon video may be followed by a parody with crude or shocking content.
- A video game with friends can be ruined by a stranger who barges in with foul language.
Unfortunately, this kind of situation happens all the time. A recent study showed that nearly 59% of parents admit that their child has seen violent, shocking, or pornographic images before they even finish middle school. This figure clearly shows how urgent it is to be vigilant and educate our children about digital technology as early as possible. To learn more about what parents are experiencing, you can consult the results of the survey on parents facing the dangers of the internet .
The best protection you can offer your child isn't parental control software, but a relationship of trust. It's the certainty that they can tell you anything without fear of being judged or punished.
Laying the foundations for caring digital support
Talking about the dangers of the internet for young people shouldn't be a source of stress. Rather, it's about building the foundation for healthy, guided exploration. By taking a genuine interest in their games, favorite videos, and the friends they chat with online, you're building a bridge between their world and yours.
This approach allows you to protect without overprotecting. This gives your child the tools they need to develop their critical thinking and ability to bounce back from challenges. In the following sections, we'll take a closer look at how to spot the signs of cyberbullying and how to manage screen time to promote their well-being and creativity.
Spot the signs of cyberbullying
Cyberbullying is one of the most insidious dangers the internet poses to young people. Unlike a fight in the playground, it never really stops. It infiltrates their daily lives, on their phones, and can profoundly shake their emotional balance, directly affecting their self-confidence.
This isn't just a conflict, but rather repeated and intentional violence. For a child, it's very real: teasing on the class WhatsApp group, systematic exclusion from an online game, or the embarrassing photo that circulates and becomes the topic of conversation throughout the school. Bullying follows them everywhere, even into their bedroom, the space that should be their refuge.
This image illustrates a scene that is unfortunately all too familiar: a young person, alone in front of their screen, who receives a hurtful message.
What's powerful about this image is that it captures the loneliness and anxiety a child can feel. For the adults around them, this violence is often invisible.
Knowing how to read between the lines
Children who experience cyberbullying rarely talk about it themselves. Shame, fear of retaliation, or even the fear of having their phone confiscated push them into silence. This is where your role as a parent becomes crucial. It's not about policing, but about observing changes in their behavior with kindness.
Here are some signs that should alert you:
- Sudden mood swings : Does your child become irritable, sad, or anxious right after being on their phone? Do they jump at every notification?
- Progressive isolation : Does he avoid talking about school or his friends? Does he no longer want to go to his favorite sports class?
- Changed relationship with screens : Does he suddenly abandon his favorite game completely? Or, on the contrary, does he spend even more time on it, as if he had to monitor what's happening?
- Recurring physical ailments : Are headaches or stomach aches more frequent, especially on Sunday evenings? Is your sleep restless?
These signs are not irrefutable proof, but they are invitations to open dialogue, with gentleness and empathy.
A child who feels listened to without being judged is a child who will dare to confide. Your first reaction is decisive: it can open the door to discussion or slam it shut.
The phenomenon is far from anecdotal. In France, nearly a quarter of children say they have already experienced cyberbullying. However, the reflex to ask for help has not yet been acquired. Only 2% of bullied young people think to call 3018 , the national helpline. This figure shows how far we still have to go. To better understand the issue, you can consult the latest figures on the extent of cyberbullying .
How to act, concretely and with kindness
If you have doubts, how you approach your child is fundamental. The goal is not to subject them to interrogation, but to show them that they can tell you anything and that you are their ally.
This chart helps you recognize the signs of cyberbullying in your child and guides you on the actions you can take to support them.
| Observable warning sign | Possible emotional impact | Parental action recommended |
|---|---|---|
| Sudden change in mood after using screens. | Anxiety, sadness, feeling of being attacked. | Start a gentle conversation: "I feel like something is bothering you, I'm here if you want to talk about it." |
| Sudden refusal to go to school or activities. | Fear of confrontation, shame, feeling of insecurity. | Validate your emotion: "I see that this is difficult for you right now. We will find a solution together." |
| Overprotective of his phone, refusal to show it. | Fear of reprisals or that parents will find out about the problem. | Reassure: "Whatever happens, you are not at fault. My goal is to help you, not punish you." |
| Decreased academic performance, sleep disturbances. | Constant stress, loss of concentration, anxiety. | Consult a professional (doctor, psychologist) and report the situation to the school. |
Creating a climate of trust is the first step in helping him free himself from this burden.
Here's how you can actually open the discussion:
- Choose the right moment . Enjoy a car ride, a walk, or a time when you're cooking together. A neutral setting, away from screens, is often more conducive.
- Ask open-ended questions . Rather than "Are you being bothered online?", try a gentler approach: "I've noticed you've been looking a bit worried lately. How are things going with your friends on your online game?"
- Listen without interrupting . Let him tell his story, even if it's confusing. Acknowledge his emotions with phrases like, "I understand that this hurt a lot. It's completely normal to feel this way."
- Reassure him and make him feel less guilty . This is the most important thing. Repeat to him that it is never his fault. Tell him that you are proud of his courage for talking about it and that now you will face this together.
Once the dialogue is open, act methodically. Take screenshots of the messages as evidence. Then contact the school to inform them. Your top priority is to make your home a safe haven, a place where your child knows they will always be protected and supported, no matter what happens in the virtual world.
Managing screen time to maintain family balance
As parents today, managing screen time is arguably one of our biggest challenges. It's not about seeing screens as enemies to be defeated, but rather as food: it's all about quality, quantity, and balance. Excessive use can quickly eat away at precious moments, disrupt sleep and concentration at school, and, above all, weaken family bonds and stifle creativity.
When a child spends too much time in front of a screen, their behavior changes. It's not just a matter of hours, but rather a palpable change in their mood or interests. The balance is disrupted as soon as the virtual world takes over the real world.
And it's a situation that's much more common than you might think. The figures speak for themselves: 71% of young people aged 12 to 17 admit they have trouble switching off, even for a few hours. Worse, more than half of them spend more than three hours a day on screens, and nearly a quarter even exceed five hours. To better understand this trend, the comprehensive data on young people's relationship with digital technology is very illuminating.
How to spot the signs of excessive consumption?
The first step is learning to recognize the warning signs. These indicators aren't there to make us feel guilty, but simply to help us see if our child needs a little more clarity.
Here are some changes that should catch your attention:
- Irritability and frustration : Does your child lose their temper or become anxious when you ask them to put down their tablet or console?
- Loss of interest in other things : Does he abandon activities he used to love, such as playing outside, drawing, or reading?
- Difficulty sleeping : Do they have trouble falling asleep at night or seem tired all the time? The blue light from screens is known to disrupt our sleep cycles.
- Creativity in decline : Does he get bored quickly if he is not stimulated by a screen, to the point of having difficulty inventing his own games?
If you recognize your child in several of these descriptions, it's probably time to take action. But always with gentleness and instruction.
Creating a healthier digital environment at home
The goal isn't to ban screens, but to restore them to their rightful place. It's about integrating them into a rich and varied daily life, where connected moments don't overshadow family reconnection. To achieve this, the best solution remains to establish clear rules that are understood and accepted by everyone.
The key isn't banning, but diversifying. A child who has plenty of other stimulating activities available (creative, sports, family-related) will naturally be less glued to their screen.
Here are some concrete steps you can try today to find that balance.
Establish screen-free zones and times
It's a bit like house rules: we can also have rules for screens. The idea is to create sanctuaries, protected times and places to preserve discussions and real exchanges.
- Meals are sacred : The dinner table is meant for conversation. By banning phones, we give everyone the chance to share their day and truly connect.
- The bedroom, a haven of peace : Ideally, no screens should cross the bedroom door. This helps you fall asleep more easily and encourages quiet activities, such as reading or drawing.
- A "digital curfew" for everyone : Set a time when all screens in the house turn off, for example, one hour before bedtime. And this rule applies to children... as well as parents! Leading by example is your best asset.
Define family rituals to reconnect
Faced with the dangers of the internet for young people , a strong family bond is our best defense. Rituals are perfect for this. They create regular, anticipated meetings that foster complicity.
- Board game night : Once a week, we all get together around a good game. Lots of laughs guaranteed!
- Sunday stroll : Rain or shine, a little outing in nature is a chance to unplug and chat about anything and everything.
- Weekend Workshop : Embark on a joint project. Build a cabin, bake a complicated cake, create a family comic strip... The important thing is to do it together and stimulate your creativity.
By applying these few principles, you're not only limiting the risks associated with screens. Above all, you're providing your child with a framework that helps them feel good, develop their imagination, and flourish. You're gently teaching them to find a balance that will serve them well throughout their lives.
How to protect your child from inappropriate content
The internet is a bit like a vast library. It contains treasures of knowledge and entertainment, but also darker sections with images or language that are violent, shocking, or simply not age-appropriate. One of the most common dangers of the internet for young people is precisely this accidental exposure.
A child isn't necessarily looking for something disturbing. More often than not, they're led there in spite of themselves. Think of the algorithms on platforms like YouTube or TikTok. It's like a current in a river: a simple kitten video might be followed by a suggestion for a "meme," which, one thing leads to another, leads to vulgar or frightening content. It's a powerful and often unpredictable cycle.
Being exposed to violent or sexualized content at too young a age can disrupt a child's emotional balance, create anxiety, and even distort their perception of the world. The idea isn't to lock them away, but to provide a reassuring environment so they can explore without falling into traps.
Establish a technical safety net
The first step is to use the tools at our disposal. Parental controls aren't a miracle solution that replaces discussion—far from it. Rather, they're an essential safety net. It's a bit like installing safety gates on windows: just because you trust your child doesn't mean you leave them unprotected.
Most devices and apps today offer fairly simple settings to help you:
- On search engines : Activate "SafeSearch" mode on Google to filter out explicit results. This is an effective first line of defense.
- On video platforms : Use "YouTube Kids" for younger children or activate "restricted mode" on a regular YouTube account.
- On game consoles : Take the time to set up "child" accounts. These limit interactions with strangers and block access to games not recommended for their age.
- On smartphones and tablets : Tools like Apple's Screen Time or Android's Digital Wellbeing let you set time limits and filter content.
These tools will help you block most inappropriate content. But never forget that the most powerful filter will always be your child's critical thinking and the quality of your dialogue.
Teaching your child to recognize and talk to you about it
Beyond the technical barriers, your most important mission is to educate your child. They must learn to identify what makes them uncomfortable and, above all, know that they can come to you without fear.
The biggest obstacle is the fear of being punished. The child thinks, "If I show this to Mom or Dad, they'll confiscate my tablet." This fear drives them into silence and leaves them alone to face their anxieties. Your role is to shatter this fear by establishing a climate of absolute trust.
Your message should be clear: "You are my digital explorer, and I am your safe base. If you encounter a monster along the way, come back to me. We'll face it together, and you'll never be punished for it."
To help this reflex take hold, use simple, reassuring phrases that you can repeat during your discussions.
Here are some ideas to get the conversation started:
- "You know, on the internet, you can sometimes come across weird or scary things, even without meaning to. If that happens to you, the very first thing to do is come see me."
- "Show me anything that seems strange or makes you uncomfortable. You'll never get into trouble , I promise. My only goal is to help you feel good."
- "Your curiosity is a great quality, but sometimes it can take you to places that aren't meant for you. If you have any doubts, ask me. We'll look into it together."
By equipping them with these reflexes, you're giving them more than just parental control software. You're giving them an essential life skill: the ability to protect themselves and ask for help. You're empowering them to take control of their own safety, and that's the best way to boost their self-confidence.
Dialogue, your best shield
When it comes to the dangers of the internet for young people , your greatest asset isn't software. It's the relationship you build with your child every day. Sure, parental control tools are helpful, but they're no substitute for a good conversation and a strong bond of trust.
A filter can block a site, sure. But it will never teach your child how to react to a shocking image or hurtful words. And this is precisely where your role as a parent becomes crucial.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it: become their ally in exploring the digital world, not their policeman. Your child must feel they can come to you with their discoveries, doubts, or fears, without fear of judgment or having their tablet confiscated.
How to create a space of trust?
For a child to open up, they need to feel completely safe. They need to know that whatever they have to say, their words will be welcomed, even if they've done something wrong or broken a rule.
The biggest enemy of dialogue is the fear of punishment. Picture this: Your child opens up about a problem they encountered online, and their first experience results in a screen ban. The next time, they won't tell you anything. They'll try to manage their anxieties on their own, and that's exactly what we're trying to avoid.
Think of your relationship as a home port. Your child is a small boat setting out to explore the vast ocean of the internet. They need to be confident they can return to the dock at any time, especially in a storm. They'll always find refuge and comfort there, never reproach.
To build this refuge, show genuine interest in what he's doing online. Ask him to show you his current game, watch that video with him that made him laugh out loud, admire his Minecraft builds. By sharing his joyful moments, you let him know that you'll be there for the more difficult times, too.
Small rituals to facilitate discussion
Addressing sensitive topics isn't always easy. Establishing small habits in your daily life can make these conversations much more natural and less intimidating.
These dedicated moments show your child that their online life is important to you.
- Weekend debrief: Take 15 minutes on Saturday or Sunday to discuss your week online. This isn't an interrogation, but a simple exchange. The idea is to make these conversations as normal as asking, "How was your day at school?"
- Acknowledge emotions: If he tells you about an online argument, your first reaction is crucial. Acknowledge what he's feeling. A simple "I understand that made you sad" or "That must have made you angry, that's normal" is enough to validate his emotion.
- Share your own experiences: Talk to them about your internet use, too. Tell them about that fascinating article you read or even that time you had to block someone unpleasant. It puts you on an equal footing and shows them that everyone faces these situations.
The art of asking the right questions
To avoid one-word answers like "yes" or "no," focus on open-ended questions. They invite your child to share their story and reflect, opening the door to much richer discussions about what they're really experiencing.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- “Tell me the funniest or most surprising thing you saw online this week.”
- “Have you learned anything new from a video or game recently?”
- “Was there ever a time when you felt a little weird or uncomfortable online?”
- “If you could invent your own video game, what would it be like?”
- "Have you had any interesting discussions with your friends on your gaming group?"
Get the idea? These questions aren't about the dangers, but about his overall experience. They allow him to share both the positive and the negative, and reinforce this image of you as a curious and attentive partner. By making dialogue a priority, you're giving him the best protection possible.
Your frequently asked questions about online safety
Helping your child navigate the digital world inevitably raises a lot of questions. That's perfectly normal! Here, we'll answer the most common questions, using simple words and concrete advice, so you feel more comfortable and better equipped for your daily life.
At what age can he really go on social media?
This is the big question all parents are asking. Simply put, the law is pretty clear: most platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat require a minimum age of 13. This isn't a figure pulled out of thin air; it's there to protect the personal data of young people.
But beyond the law, there's a question of maturity. Before the age of 13, a child's brain is still developing. They don't always have the tools to manage the complexity of online relationships, the pressure of peer pressure, or to take a step back from sometimes inappropriate content. Their self-esteem is still fragile.
Respecting this limit is therefore a really good idea. In the meantime, favor platforms adapted to younger children and, above all, stay by their side to accompany them in their first explorations.
How can I talk to him about the dangers of the internet without scaring him?
The goal isn't to pass on your own stress, but to help him become independent and vigilant. The most effective approach is often the simplest and most positive, far removed from the alarmist rhetoric that risks alienating him.
Try using images he can understand. For example, explain that his personal information is like a treasure: you only share it with people you trust completely.
Turn caution into a superpower. Teach him to be a little web detective: he must know how to spot what seems "weird," keep his passwords as secret as a magic spell, and above all, know that you are his "headquarters," the place where he can always come for refuge in case of trouble.
By making online safety an adventure, you're giving them lifelong skills without creating unnecessary fear of the internet.
Parental controls, do they really work?
Yes, it's a great starting point, a very useful first safety barrier. But it's not a miracle solution. Think of it like the little training wheels on a bicycle: they're essential at the beginning to prevent big falls, but they're no substitute for learning balance.
Concretely, parental control software will:
- Filter out most content that might offend him.
- Allow you to set limits for screen time.
- Block access to certain sites or applications that you consider inappropriate.
However, no filter is perfect, and children are often very clever at finding loopholes. The tool is therefore only effective if it is part of a more comprehensive approach. It must absolutely be complemented by regular and open dialogue with your child. Because ultimately, your goal is for them to be able to "pedal" safely on their own, even when the training wheels are no longer there.
To foster this dialogue and help your child build confidence away from screens, My Book Story has created a unique companion. The My Book Story notebook is a caring space where they can put their emotions into words, celebrate their successes, and strengthen their inner world. Discover how this simple and creative tool can transform a few minutes a day into a powerful ritual for the well-being of the whole family on the My Book Story website .