Self-confidence is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child. It forms the foundation upon which they will build their identity, their relationships, and their ability to overcome life's challenges. For children between the ages of 6 and 12, this period is crucial: it's the time when their first close friendships are formed, when academic challenges can seem insurmountable, and when the way others see them takes on a new importance. As a parent, you play a key role in helping them cultivate this inner strength.
Fortunately, building a child's self-esteem isn't a mountain to climb. It often involves simple actions, playful rituals, and caring conversations integrated into daily life. In this article, we offer a series of concrete and accessible self-confidence exercises , designed specifically for children aged 6 to 12. You'll discover practical techniques to help them recognize their strengths, manage their doubts, and develop a positive outlook on themselves. Each activity is designed to be a moment of sharing and fun, transforming personal development into a rewarding family adventure.
1. Reflection on Gratitude
Cultivating gratitude is a simple yet profoundly transformative self-confidence exercise for children . It involves inviting your child to take a few minutes each day to identify and name the things they are grateful for. This practice helps shift their focus from frustrations or lacks to the positive aspects of their life, fostering a sense of contentment and inner security.
By becoming aware of all that they already have (a kind friend, a good meal, a moment of shared play), children develop a more optimistic view of the world and their place in it. This is an excellent way to build a stable emotional foundation, essential for good self-esteem.
How to apply it with your child?
Ideally, you should turn this moment into a calming ritual, perhaps during family dinner or before bed. Everyone can share three things they're grateful for today. To guide your child, ask simple questions like, "What made you smile today?" "What was the best part of your day?"
The goal isn't to list extraordinary things, but to learn to appreciate the small joys of everyday life. This teaches children that joy can be found everywhere, which strengthens their resilience in the face of difficulties.
Make the exercise fun by creating a family "gratitude jar" where everyone leaves a little note. Rereading these words together from time to time is a powerful reminder of the positive moments shared.
As this infographic shows, the key to success lies in regular practice and a positive approach, perfectly integrated into family rituals.
2. Visualizing Success
Visualization is a self-confidence exercise that harnesses the superpower of imagination. The technique involves guiding your child to vividly and vividly imagine themselves succeeding in a situation they're concerned about: a class presentation, a soccer game, or even making a new friend on the playground.
The brain doesn't always differentiate between a real experience and an intensely imagined one. By mentally creating a success scenario, children prepare their minds for success, reduce anxiety, and strengthen their belief that they can achieve their goals. Many elite athletes use this method to boost their performance.
How to apply it with your child?
Choose a quiet moment. Invite your child to close their eyes and breathe deeply. Guide them step by step as they build their "success movie." If they're afraid to speak up in class, help them imagine the scene: "Imagine yourself standing there, feeling calm. Your voice is clear. Your friends are listening. The teacher is smiling at you. How do you feel? Proud? Relieved?"
The important thing is to focus on the positive emotions felt during and after the imagined success. This association between action and a sense of pride anchors lasting confidence.
To make this self-confidence exercise more tangible, you can encourage them to draw a picture of their success. This transforms a fleeting thought into a concrete and motivating memory.
3. Role Playing to Manage Difficult Situations
Role-playing is a fun and effective way to build a child's self-esteem by preparing them for potentially intimidating social situations. Whether it's saying no to a friend, dealing with teasing, or speaking up, role-playing allows them to "rehearse" the scene in a safe environment.
By role-playing, the child can test different responses, find the right words, and practice the tone of voice and posture that will give them confidence. This demystifies the situation and gives them concrete tools to deal with it on the day, thus reducing anxiety and feelings of helplessness.
How to apply it with your child?
Identify a situation with him that is worrying him. For example: "A friend at school is making fun of your new shoes." Offer to role-play the scene. You can first play the role of the child making fun, so he can practice his response.
The goal isn't to find a perfect answer, but to help them realize they have options and can choose their response. This is a powerful exercise for developing assertiveness.
Then switch roles: let them play the role of the one making fun of you so they can better understand the other person's perspective. Make it lighthearted and fun. Praise them for their courage and creativity in finding answers. This confidence-building exercise turns fear into a game of strategy and skill.
As this body language video shows, posture and attitude are key, and role-playing is a great way to practice them.
4. The Circle of Compliments
This self-confidence exercise is a simple family ritual that has a huge impact on self-esteem. The idea is to create a dedicated moment where each family member offers a sincere compliment to another. For a child, hearing others recognize their qualities, efforts, or kindness is extremely rewarding.
This not only helps them see themselves in a positive light, but also helps them learn to identify and verbalize the qualities of others, which strengthens empathy and family bonds. It's an exercise that nurtures both self-esteem and emotional intelligence.
How to apply it with your child?
Make it a regular ritual, perhaps once a week. Sit in a circle. Each person takes turns receiving a compliment from each other family member. The compliment should be specific and sincere. Instead of "You're kind," say "I really liked it when you shared your toy with your sister earlier; that was very generous."
The important thing is to focus on the actions and qualities of the person, not just on achievements or appearance. This teaches the child that their worth is intrinsic.
At first, your child may struggle with finding or receiving compliments. Lead by example. This exercise teaches two crucial skills: knowing how to give recognition and knowing how to accept a compliment gracefully, without minimizing it.
By receiving compliments, the child symbolically leaves his comfort zone where he only sees his faults, to enter a space where his qualities are recognized.
5. The Guided Confidence Journal
Journaling is a classic tool for personal development, but children often need a framework to get started. A child confidence journal with guided questions (prompts) is a perfect solution to help your child explore their thoughts, emotions, and pride in a fun and structured way.
Unlike a blank page, which can be intimidating, targeted questions invite them to reflect on their strengths, successes, and emotions. It's a private and safe space where they can celebrate their victories, analyze their challenges, and better understand themselves.
How to apply it with your child?
For optimal support, a tool like My Book Story is ideal. Designed specifically for children and validated by an expert sophrologist, this notebook is more than just a journal. It offers guided questions, emotional follow-ups, and small, positive challenges that transform introspection into a creative adventure. It helps children:
- Celebrating your successes: “What are you most proud of today?”
- Identify your strengths: “What is one of your super qualities?”
- Managing emotions: Smileys to indicate how he felt.
- Challenge yourself: “Today, I dare to ask for help if needed.”
The My Book Story notebook becomes a companion for your child. It documents their progress and provides tangible evidence of their abilities, which they can refer back to when in doubt. It's a key tool for building a child's self-esteem over the long term.
Giving this journal to your child is giving them a concrete way to put into practice all the exercises seen previously, transforming the development of self-confidence into a fun and deeply beneficial daily ritual.
To Conclude: One Step at a Time, Every Day
Building your child's self-confidence is a journey, not a destination. The five self-confidence exercises we've just explored are simple and powerful tools to incorporate into your daily family life. Whether through fun role-play, a warm circle of praise, or the pages of a guided journal, every little helps.
The key is consistency and kindness. Approach these activities as moments of connection and fun, not homework. Your role as a parent is to be an encouraging guide, a role model, and your child's biggest fan. By celebrating their efforts more than their results and providing them with tools to navigate their emotions, you're giving them the roots and wings they need to grow into a fulfilled, resilient, and self-aware adult. It's one of the greatest legacies you can pass on to them.