Helping your child grow mentally means, above all, providing them with a safe haven. A space where they feel confident enough to explore, make mistakes, and start again, thus developing their resilience, curiosity, and empathy. The idea is to create a dialogue that emphasizes the effort made rather than the end result . This is how they will understand that qualities like courage or creativity are not innate, but that they are developed, little by little, with your kind support.
Understanding Mental Growth in Children: The Basics
For a child between the ages of 6 and 12, growing mentally isn't just about good grades or accumulating knowledge. It's much deeper. It's about building solid inner foundations that will help them navigate life's ups and downs with serenity and confidence.
We are talking here about a whole range of socio-emotional skills that will literally shape the way he perceives himself and how he interacts with the world around him.
What is mental growth, concretely?
For a child to thrive, several pillars are essential. Think of them as the ingredients in a recipe for your child's well-being:
- Emotional resilience: It's that little inner strength that allows him to get back up after a disappointment, like a bad grade or an argument with a friend, without being completely overwhelmed.
- Intellectual curiosity: It's that spark in his eyes, that desire to understand how things work, to ask endless questions, just for the pleasure of discovery.
- Empathy and social ease: This is the ability to put oneself in other people's shoes, to understand what a friend is feeling, to create bonds and communicate with respect.
- Self-confidence: This is the inner conviction that one is capable, lovable, and valuable, regardless of one's current successes or failures.
All of these elements are linked. A curious child won't be afraid to try new things, and even if they fail, it will strengthen their resilience. It's a virtuous circle that you can encourage every day.
The Magic of the “Growth Mindset”
If there's one concept for you parents to remember, it's the growth mindset . It's a simple but powerful idea: believing that intelligence and talent aren't fixed, but can grow with practice and effort.
Let's take a concrete example: your child is struggling with a puzzle. With a "fixed" mindset, they'll quickly conclude: "I'm useless, I can't do it." The door closes. But with a growth mindset, their inner voice will instead say: "This is hard, but what if I tried another technique? "
As a parent, your superpower is to nurture that second little voice. Rather than saying, "You're really good at puzzles," try, "I saw how focused you were to find the right pieces—great effort!" It changes everything in their mind.
This small nuance is crucial. It teaches him that making mistakes isn't inevitable, but simply information on the path to learning. Moreover, it's no coincidence that mental health is such an important social issue today. It's even been declared a major national cause in France, which shows how essential it is to act early and demystify these issues from childhood.
Developing your child's emotional intelligence
Helping your child understand and manage their emotions is arguably one of the greatest gifts you can give them. It's the foundation of what we call emotional intelligence: the ability to recognize your own feelings, decipher those of others, and use them to guide your thoughts and actions. A true superpower for life!
We often see tantrums or crying spells as problems that need to be resolved quickly. What if we changed our perspective? Instead, let's see them as golden opportunities for learning. When your child is overwhelmed by an emotion, they're not trying to provoke you. They're simply being overwhelmed by something bigger than themselves, something they don't yet know how to name or control.
Putting into words what is happening inside
The first step is to help your child take stock. Between the ages of 6 and 12, it's not easy to understand the whirlwind of emotions we can feel. Your role is to give them the words and tools to see things more clearly.
For example, why not try the "emotion barometer" during dinner? Take turns sharing your "inner weather" for the day. Was it sunny, cloudy, or downright stormy? It's a simple and fun way to open up the discussion.
- Validate how they feel: Simple phrases like, "I see you're really upset because your brother took your toy," or "You seem really disappointed that you can't go out," are enough. Simply naming the emotion shows them that it's okay to feel it.
- Use pictures: For younger children who struggle to find words, cards with faces expressing joy, sadness, or surprise are a great way to help. They can simply point to the one that corresponds to their state.
- Connect the emotion to the body: "Do you feel your heart beating very fast and your fists clenching when you're angry? That's normal, it's your body talking to you."
This exercise, which involves watching yourself feel an emotion without judgment, is the first step in building self-acceptance and positive thinking.
The image here clearly shows how positive thinking is a pillar of self-confidence. By learning to look at themselves with kindness, even when emotions are difficult, your child builds a solid and positive image of themselves. This is essential for their development.
Pro tip: Validating an emotion isn't about accepting bad behavior. It's simply acknowledging what's going on underneath. Once you've said, "I understand that you're angry," you can add, "However, hitting isn't a solution. Let's find another one together."
Turning Storms into Life Lessons
It's often in the most tense moments that we learn the most. Your own response to stress is an incredibly powerful model for your child. If you yell when you're frustrated, chances are they'll internalize it as a normal reaction.
This awareness of the importance of mental health from a young age is fundamental. Moreover, we can clearly see that young adults themselves are increasingly seeking support. In France, consultations with a psychologist have jumped by 28.4% among 26-35 year-olds. This is a clear sign that there is a growing need to better understand ourselves in order to face today's challenges. To learn more, you can read this article on the evolution of mental health on Generation.fr .
By helping your child develop their emotional intelligence now, you're giving them valuable tools for life. Every discussion about their fears, joys, or frustrations is another building block in building their inner strength for tomorrow.
Here are some ideas for simple activities to incorporate into your daily life to cultivate this emotional intelligence as a family.
Family Activities to Strengthen Emotional Intelligence
| Activity | Main objective | Ideal time to practice it |
|---|---|---|
| The game of the mirror of emotions | Help recognize and name emotions on other people's faces. | During quiet play time in the afternoon. |
| Reading stories | Discuss the characters' feelings to develop empathy. | In the evening, before going to bed. |
| The "worry box" | Allow the child to “release” their anxieties by writing or drawing them. | When the child seems preoccupied or anxious. |
| Sharing the “3 good moments” | Focus on the positive aspects of the day to cultivate gratitude. | At dinner or just before going to sleep. |
These little rituals only take a few minutes, but their long-term impact is immense. They create a safe space where your child will always feel free to share their feelings.
Nourish creativity and allow room for free play
For a child, play is much more than just a hobby. It's their job, their laboratory of ideas, the true driving force behind their development. It's through free play and letting their creativity run wild that they learn to solve problems, think outside the box, and trust their own intuitions.
There's no need to overload your room with fancy toys. On the contrary, the simplest objects are often the most stimulating. A plain cardboard box can become a castle, a racing car, or an intergalactic rocket. It stimulates the imagination much more than an electronic toy that already dictates the entire story.
Establish a framework that encourages exploration
We sometimes forget, but the fear of making mistakes or doing something wrong is a powerful barrier to creativity. For your child to dare to explore, they need a space, both physical and emotional, where they feel safe to try, fail, and start again, without ever being judged.
- Tolerate a happy mess: Set aside a corner of the house where a little "creative mess" is acceptable. If crayons, paper, play dough, or building blocks are within easy reach, your child will be much more likely to get started spontaneously.
- Focus on the process, not just the result: Instead of, "Your drawing is lovely," try a more open-ended approach. For example, "Oh, I love how you used the blue and yellow together—look at the new color it created!" This small difference shows that you're interested in their choices and efforts, which fuels their deeper motivation.
- Let him be bored (a little): Don't try to fill every minute of his time. Boredom is often the breeding ground for the most brilliant ideas. It's in these quiet moments that a child learns to draw on his own resources to keep himself occupied.
This attitude teaches him something fundamental: his value does not depend on the perfection of what he produces, but on the pleasure and knowledge he derives from creating.
Free play, a training ground for life
Unstructured play, meaning no adult-imposed rules, is an incredible skill simulator. When your child invents a story with their figurines, they're practicing their ability to construct a coherent narrative. When they stack wooden planks, they're intuitively testing the laws of gravity and learning from their failures when their tower collapses.
The goal isn't to turn your child into a future award-winning artist. The idea is to give them the confidence to approach any challenge with a flexible and creative mind. A child who knows how to turn a problem into a game will always find an original solution, whether at school or later in adult life.
See yourself as a facilitator, a discreet support. Your attentive presence and your sincere interest in what they are doing are the greatest encouragement there is. Ask them open-ended questions: "And your character, how is he feeling at this moment?" or "What do you think would happen if we added this room right here?" Without giving them the answer, you help them to go deeper in their thinking and become aware of their own potential.
Establish family rituals to build trust
In the whirlwind of our busy lives, family rituals act as anchors. They provide a sense of security, predictability, and belonging—three essential pillars on which a child can rely to grow up peacefully and develop confidence.
These shared habits, even the simplest ones, are much more than just routines. They create lasting memories and strengthen bonds. In fact, they send a very clear message to your child: “No matter what happens during the day, this moment belongs to us. You matter, and how you feel matters.”
Transforming routines into true moments of connection
Every day is filled with small opportunities to transform a mundane routine into a meaningful ritual. The idea isn't to overload an already busy schedule, but rather to instill special intention into moments that already exist.
Take bedtime, for example. This moment can become so much more than just a transition to sleep. It's the perfect bubble to soothe the little tensions of the day and gently reconnect. Instead of rushing, why not take five minutes to sit next to him and ask a simple question like, "Tell me the best thing that happened to you today?"
A ritual doesn't need to be complicated to make a difference. Its true strength lies in its regularity and the sincere attention it receives. It is this consistency that reassures children and provides the foundation of security they need to dare to explore the world.
Some ideas for rituals to strengthen the sense of belonging
To take it a step further, you could establish weekly or monthly rituals that will gradually become true family traditions. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Sunday Night Family Council: A short 15-minute meeting where everyone shares a small victory from their week and something that bothered them a little. This is a great way to teach your child that all emotions have their place and that they can find support from their loved ones.
- The "gratitude box": Place a pretty box somewhere in the house. Every day, or every week, everyone slips a little note (anonymous or not) into it to say thank you to something or someone. Once a month, open the box and read all these little joys aloud.
- Creative Night: Once a week, we turn off our screens and get out our markers, modeling clay, or Legos. The goal isn't to create a work of art, but simply to have a good time together, without judgment or pressure to achieve results.
These moments of sharing allow your child to feel seen, heard and important within the family. This is a fundamental basis for building strong self-esteem .
Incorporate a personal journal into your routine
Bedtime is often the perfect time to introduce a journal. A notebook like the My Hero Story Notebook was designed to fit naturally into this evening routine. It offers a fun and guided environment for your child to independently put their thoughts and feelings into words.
In just a few minutes, he can draw a good moment, write down a point of pride, or identify a need. This simple exercise helps him cultivate a positive self-image and become aware of his own strengths. By making this notebook a regular companion, you're giving him a concrete tool to take care of his mental well-being, a skill he'll retain throughout his life.
Learn to overcome challenges to build resilience
Life is full of surprises and joys, but also challenges, both big and small. For a child, learning to navigate these less-than-easy moments is an essential skill for their development. The idea isn't to map out a path without obstacles, but rather to give them a compass and a good pair of shoes so they can navigate them with confidence.
Your role as a parent is to help them cultivate resilience. It's this inner strength that allows them to bounce back from disappointment, handle criticism, or weather friendly storms. It's what transforms a discouraging "I'll never make it" into an optimistic "I'll try another way."
Turning Small Failures into Big Lessons
A bad grade, an argument with their best friend, not being invited to a birthday party... For our children, these events can take on enormous proportions. Our first instinct is often to try to ease the pain immediately by minimizing what happened. Yet, these are real learning gems.
The secret is to change your perspective, and therefore theirs, on what constitutes "failure." A mistake isn't proof that you're bad; it's just information about what you can improve on.
- When the grade doesn't follow: Instead of a quick, "It's okay, you'll do better next time," you can try to dig a little deeper. "I see that this grade disappoints you, and it's normal to feel that way. What did you find most difficult? What if we thought together about another way to prepare for the next test so that you're more relaxed?"
- When an invitation doesn't arrive: Rather than criticizing the other children, start by validating their emotion. "I understand your sadness; it's really hurtful to feel left out. It hurts. Listen, how about we organize something great just you and me that day?"
With this approach, we help him cultivate a kind inner voice. He learns to analyze the situation instead of beating himself up.
Sleep: A Superpower for the Mind
We tend to forget it, but sleep has a direct impact on our children's ability to manage their emotions. A child who lacks sleep is a more irritable, less patient child, and will have a much harder time dealing with the little worries of the day. Good sleep is not an option; it is the fuel for their emotional regulation .
Studies confirm it: sleep quality and psychological well-being are closely linked. In fact, among adults in France, sleep disorders and anxiety are among the most common mental health problems. If you're interested in the topic, Statista's statistics are quite illuminating. Establishing good sleep habits from a young age is a bit like offering them mental health insurance for the future.
Building resilience is like learning to ride a bike. At first, he needs training wheels (your support). He'll fall, for sure (failure). But with practice, he'll find his balance and pedal confidently on his own.
A calm, predictable bedtime routine—a story, soft music, quiet conversation time—signals to the brain that it's time to slow down. It's during the night that the mind sorts and anchors the day's learnings, including emotional lessons. It's an invisible, but absolutely essential, work time.
Questions Every Parent Asks About Mental Growth
As parents, we ask ourselves a thousand questions. This is completely normal. We want the best for our children, and knowing how to help them grow mentally is often a path full of questions. Let's unravel the most frequently asked questions together to help you in a practical way.
Although every child is a world unto itself, our concerns as parents often overlap. Understanding how self-confidence and communication work is key to creating a happy home, a place that's both calm and stimulating.
What should I do if my child lacks self-confidence in everyday life?
It's heartbreaking to see your child doubt their abilities. But the good news is that many small, day-to-day actions can really make a difference. The idea isn't to overprotect them, but rather to give them the tools to build their own confidence, brick by brick.
Each of these gestures, however simple, sends a powerful message: you are capable, and your worth is not measured only by your successes.
- Give him small tasks he can do. Set the table, water a plant, or even help you follow a simple recipe. This gives him a concrete and rewarding role in the family.
- Praise effort, not just victory. Instead of saying, "Well done on your good grade!" try, "I saw how hard you worked on that test, I'm really proud of you." This will teach them that perseverance is a victory in itself.
- Establish a ritual of positive affirmations. In the morning, in front of the mirror, suggest that he repeat simple, powerful phrases: "I am capable," "I have the right to make mistakes in order to learn," "I am a good friend."
A quick reminder: every child has their own unique pace. Avoid the trap of comparing themselves to other children their age or to what you see on social media. Your child is unique, and so is their developmental path.
How can I talk to him about mental health without making him anxious?
Talking about mental health can seem overwhelming, even scary. Yet, it's one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. The key is to make the topic as normal as talking about a cold or a sore knee. They need to understand that taking care of their mind is just as important as taking care of their body.
- Use images that speak to him. The weather of emotions is a metaphor that works very well. Sometimes, in his head, it's sunny. Other times, there are clouds, and sometimes, it's downright stormy. All these weather patterns are normal and, above all, they always pass.
- Use a good book. There are tons of children's books that explore emotions with simple words and beautiful illustrations. Reading a story together is a perfect way to start a conversation without it feeling like an interrogation.
- Normalize asking for help. Explain that it's like going to the doctor when you have a stomach ache. When you feel very sad or anxious for a long time, it's perfectly normal to talk to a trusted adult.
At what age can a person start a diary?
Journaling is a great tool for supporting mental growth. There's no ideal age to start; it's all a matter of maturity and desire.
From the age of 6 , a child can get started with a little help from you. At first, it might be drawings to describe their day, their emotions or their dreams. You can play the "secretary" by writing as they dictate. It's a truly precious moment of sharing.
Then, little by little, around the age of 7 or 8, he will begin to scribble a few words, then entire sentences. His journal will grow with him, becoming his secret garden to deposit his thoughts, his fears and his joys. It is a companion that can follow him well after he is 12 years old .
The My Book Story notebook was designed to guide your child on this wonderful adventure. With its fun activities and caring approach, it turns writing into a game and helps them build their confidence, one day at a time. Discover the My Hero Story notebook at mybookstory.co to begin this journey together.